Not By The Hair On My Chinny Chin Chin!

Today, while Mummy was at work whee heard a noise. It was the scariest noise whee have heard since the whoosh-bangs of the New Year! Scarier than the carpet eating machine and the green-spaghetti-stealing-chopper-mower. Even more terrifying than a bath. Yup, serious stuff. A banging, clattering noise from outside, in the BigWorld.

Whee froze and looked around worriedly. Then wheeked the loudest whee could manage for the little hoomans to save us.

“Help! Help!” Basil wailed, “It could be a monster!”
“Almost certainly from those noises.” I squeaked back, puffing out my chest and throwing my head back so I was all of my two and a half inches high.
Basil was so scared he tried to hide under me and ended up making both of us fall over.
“How am I supposed to protect you from approaching evil if you are going to be so silly?!” I huffed at him.
Basil sniffed and peered up at me, “How?!” he asked.
“How what?”” I wheeked.
“How will you protect me from the approaching evil?!”
“Oh,” I blustered “Using my highly trained martial farting exercises!”
“Don’t you mean Martial Arts?” Basil asked.
I frowned “No. I’m pretty sure the little hoomans were discussing martial farting. Beside what effect are crayons and water colours going to have against unstoppable evil?!”
“If it’s unstoppable . . . How will you stop it?
“Don’t ask stupid questions.” I snapped back, irritated by his logical thinking.

He opened his mouth again, no doubt about to utter another smartie pants comment when the door creaked open slowly and whee all watched it nervously.

“You can’t come in monster. Not by the fur and whiskers on my chinny chin chin!” I wheeked.

Then a head poked round the living room door. “Don’t panic piggies,” littlest hooman comforted, “It’s just the weekly shopping.” He disappeared from view then appeared again, “And don’t worry, none of the veggies were damaged!” he promised seriously. Whee all sighed in relief.

“So . . . It wasn’t a monster?!” Basil asked.
“No,” I replied awkwardly “But if it had been whee would have kicked some booty!” I answered knowingly.

Well I’m sure if it came down to it whee would have!

Have a Fabulous Friday efurryone.

Buddy
xxxx