Well whee asked you to come up with captions and as usual you didn’t disappoint! All the ideas were great and whee had a tough time deciding but whee eventually went with this one, simply for it’s relevances to todays happenings. The winning caption was by Zena.
‘It’s not a vampire is it? Please tell me they haven’t moved me into a duplex next to a vampire!’
Well you may wonder why this is relevant. Today Basil has been a very naughty piggy. He does however have reason to be. While having cuddles today the little hoomans noticed he was more fidgety than usual and kept nipping. As soon as Mummy got in she did her usual checks and discovered he has hay mites. Hay mites are very common in piggies and are easily dealt with. This is Basil’s first time having them but quick treatment stamps out any further issues. Basil has been treated and after glaring and itching for an hour or so he has forgiven Mummy and written an apology letter to Mummy’s Dad, our Grampa hooman, who he bit very hard when he was itchy.
I also feel Basil should write an apology to me, seeing as I was also subjected to treatment simply because I share a cage with him, but I won’t hold my breath!
Dear Grampa Hooman,
I’m writing to say sowwwheeee for being a naughty ‘toofy terrorist’, ‘bad biting bandit’ and various other names you shouted as you clutched your thumb after I had had my wicked way with it.
I never intended permanant damage and I understand you regained movement in the thumb seconds later and are expected to make a full recovery.
I was under a lot of stress and discomfort at the time not that it makes my actions acceptable.
Once again I apologise for being a ‘bloody vampire guinea pig’ and hope you can forgive me.
Basil (the apologetic)
Ps. Whee know this is a bit of an odd post but here is a poem Mummy wrote inspired by todays events.
My guinea pig is a vampire,
His fang are sharp and strong,
They sink easily into soft flesh,
And it’s victims don’t last long.
He doesn’t sparkle in the sun,
Nor does it burn his head,
But rather makes him happier,
Vitamin D is good for him instead.
Garlic doesn’t phase him,
Though his whiskers don’t half twitch,
He is not a famous movie star,
Or fabulously wealthy and rich.
A stake might be dangerous,
Unless it’s a willow twig,
He will quite happily munch that,
What?! He’s still a guinea pig!
Yes my guinea pig is a vampire,
At 11 o’clock you should beware,
If you are near the fridge or fruit bowl,
You just might find him there,
He is Buddy the veggie slayer,
Watch out carrots and celery,
I’ve seen him destroy his victims,
I’m just glad that veggie isn’t me!