The all new pigtionary! Have you ever wondered what your/other guinea pigs are thinking and what words mean to them?! Well whether you have or haven’t here is the ‘Pigtionary’. A collection of words and phrases and their meanings. Compiled by piggies for piggies (and other pets)
Never misunderstand a wheek again!
What would be in your own personal pigtionary?
Bar Biting – A method of get a hooman slaves attention when all else (squeaking) has failed. Simply put teeth round bar and pull till it lets out a satisfying clang then bite and chew on it for as long as it takes to fetch aforementioned hooman slave!
Bath – A form of water torture performed by a hooman slave under the pretense of cleaning you or ridding you of parasites.
Brush Time – A time when you allow your hooman slave to groom you for however long you wish to stay clean and avoid cavy water torture (see, bath)
Chooken Leg – When our little back legs stick out at any angle (this makes hoomans go d’awwww!)
Chunnering – The sweet little noise we make when telling our cagemates that all is ok. Whee like to do this especially when whee are let out to run around in the garden.
Cuddles – A time when you allow you hooman slave to hold and/or pet you in a form of relaxing massage then poop or pee or squeak on/at them when you wish to go back.
Floor Time – A time, spent on the floor, where you run around causing as much chaos as possible. For example; pooping in inconvinent places, chewing expensive furniture and shredding important paperwork. Evading capture can often feature in these situations.
FURmily – A word to describe the furry members of your family.
Furever Home – A home that second hand, second chance piggies from rescues seek.
Green Spaghetti – Also known as grass. A delicious food that hoomans should provide. Whee don’t care if it is raining, go and fetch us some slave!
Hay- The yummy stuff that keeps teeth nice and trim which whee all love… Whee need it ALL the time!
HAYrem – what some neutered boars like to call their collection of bootiful wives.
Hay roll – hay in a toilet roll, hoomans give us to keep us ‘occupied’
Husboar – Male partner of one or more girl pigs who is allowed to believe that he is in charge. (usually neutered but sometimes sows are spayed instead)
Hooman – (see, Slave)
Munchies – A regular installment of hay or vegetables, often not enough (see, ‘rations’) and often running late.
Noms – another word for munchies
Nomming – eating
PAWty – An animals only party! Treats and waitressing can be done by the hooman slaves!
Pellets – the thing the hoomans give us inbetween veggies and munchies!
Piggie kisses- One’s way of showing affection to your hooman. Every slave cannot resist kisses! (A great way to get some extra yum yums!)
Piggy Train – When wheeeeee follow each other around the room (head to bum) *Follow da leader leader leader*
Piggy pile up – what sometimes happens when we all dash to the bowl for our breakfast or round the cage and the leading piggy stops, prematurely.
Pigtures – photographs of us guinea pig
Pigsonality – what makes each pig individual
Popcorning – Sometimes called ‘The Crazy Dance’. Flicking and twisting your body while jumping to terrify hoomans who don’t really know piggies into think you are having a seizure! (very funny and worth a try!)
Rations – A portion of hay, vegetables, grass, herbs or pellets that is obviously not enough to keep a flea going let alone a voluptuous piggy such as yourself.
Rumblestrutting – What whee boys like to do when we’re anywhere near a sow!
Run Time – Similar to floor time, but this takes place in the garden. Again causing chaos is essential preferably by trying to escape and/or pulling the run apart and eating it.
Slave – The hooman who tends to your every need. A well trained slave will come when squeaked for and provide whatever you demand on command!
Spot cleaning- When your hoomans get rid of your poop collection leaving your home ‘cleaner’! It’s always great fun to then pop out a whole set of new poops just to annoy your slave!
Tug of war- When the other piggy decides what you have in your mouth is much tastier then theirs
Veggies – Colourful food which hoomans never provide nearly enough of for our liking!
Vets- That scary place that you have to go to when your feeling ill. Another place where causing havoc is great fun such as running away, biting the vet and suddenly having a bad case of the fidgets!!
Wife pig/s – Female partner/s of 1 boy pig and they allow him to believe he is in charge while scoffing all the veggies for themselves when he isn’t looking.
Zoomies – Dashing around at such a high speed your slave cannot keep up. Often used to evade capture during Floor Time and Run Time.